I’m back!

At last, I’m back! I have spent the past month renovating and moving into our new home; during this time I had planned to focus on the house and the move leaving no time for exercise, I was however going to eat healthily. This didn’t go as planned, to be honest I ate on the move, not to bad but bad enough to make me feel guilty and absolutely put on weight again!

However what matters now is that I’m finally back on the band wagon and ready to smash my weight down to the fabled 100kg! I have been thinking about how I’m going to achieve this, the past year has been very focused on nutrition, regular exercise and lots and lots of persistence. Measuring progress has always been a fortnightly weigh in after my BJJ session at Focus Gold Team, Spike takes my weight on his expensive looking medical scales and I record it for my log.

To begin with measuring progress this way was great, it kept me motivated and focused, however as the weight dropped it became more of a by-product of the hard work. As time went on they also became a little bit of a stress for me, I put a fair bit of pressure on myself to make sure I was dropping, this in turn made me worry and at times, there was one occasion that I over trained to the point whereby my body simply broke, my blood pressure dropped to dangerous levels and I became ill, the other side effect was it made me stress eat. Not a huge amount, and I know it seems ironic/moronic, getting stressed about not losing enough weight and eating to release the stress, it’s daft I know but it happened.  At the time work was stressful, home life with organising the new house was stressful and having a cheat was a release, an unhealthy release but a release none the less.

Now that I’m restarting I want to mix things up a bit, I can’t be stressed about weigh ins anymore, it’s daft, so instead I’m not going to do it. Well that’s not strictly true, let me explain.

The main reasons I don’t want to know my weight and progress are 2 fold.

When I get to 100kg, I don’t feel it’s healthy to weigh yourself every other day/week, it can become obsessive. I’m sure “healthy fit” people don’t feel the need to weigh themselves constantly so I don’t want to . I want to break the cycle of relying on these numbers being low to get a self esteem boost, the warm fuzzy feeling I’ll get from exercise and good nutrition will be more than enough to validate how good I feel. How can anyone live a normal healthy life, let it fully integrate into their existence when all we do is remind ourselves of our weight?

Secondly, it’s the removal of stress. I don’t want to know my progress, because it’s puts undue stress and pressure on me. I have enough to deal with these days, so why not just enjoy what I’m doing? Take please in the exercise, take please in eating a more balanced and healthy diet and get the job done! I just want to have fun again! I want to wake up and train because I love it again, not because I want to make some numbers on a scale drop!

This being said, I still need to make sure I’m on track, so with this in mind, as long as Spike is still happy to weigh me, I’m happy to let him do so, but when he does, I don’t want to know. The next time he weighs me, I will have undoubtedly pout on weight, I know this, knowing the extent will only stress me out though. So when I step on those scales, I’m not gonna look, I’ll ask Spike to keep a record on the phone app I use, but I won’t peek. I’m a stats geek so it’ll be nice to look back one day and see the numbers.

With all that said, I’m so ready to get back to it, I feel sluggish, bloated and my suit for work is starting to get a bit tight, so I’m more than happy now I’m settled, I can now officially turn beast mode back ON!